文本歌词

Albert Evacuated - Stanley Holloway
Have you heard how young Albert Ramsbottom
Was evacuated from home
With his mother clean socks and a toothbrush
Some syrup of figs and a comb
The stick with the orses ead andle
They decided that they'd leave behind
To keep safe with the things they weren't wanting
Like their gasmasks and thinks of that kind
Pa saw them off at the station
And shed a few crocodile tears
As he waved them goodbye from the platform
Twas the best break he'd had in ten years
Ma got corner seat for young Albert
Who amused all the rest of the team
By breathing hot breaths on the window
And writing some swear words in steam
They arrived at last somewhere in England
And straight to their billet were shown
Ther was one room for mother
But Albert was in a small room of his own
The very first night in the blackout
Young Albert performed quite a feat
By hanging head first from the window
And shining his torch down the street
It flashed on an ARP warden
Patrolling with leisurely gait
Good Heavens he said it's Tarzan
I'd better go investigate
So reading his book of instructions
To make himself doubly sure
Then in an official manner
Proceeded to knock on the door
It was opened by Mrs Ramsbottom
Now then said she what's to do
And in stern air warden manner he said
I'm going to interrogate you
This fair upset Mrs Ramsbottom
Her face was a picture to see
I'll have you know you'll do nowt of the sort
I'm a respectable woman said she
Has your son been evacuated
Said the ARP man at the door
He'd all them things done as a baby said mother
He's not being done anymore
Be off now said Mrs Ramsbottom
As she bustled him out of the porch
And the ARP man patted Albert
And then confiscated his torch
Now that were unlucky for Albert
He had no torch to see him to bed
But being a bright little fellow
He switched on the hal light instead
Put out that light a voice shouted
Where's the men of our ARP
I've told them already the warden replied
They take no bloody notice of me
Soon Mrs Ramsbottom and Albert
Were feeling quite homesick and sad
So they thanked the landlady most kindly
And prepared to go back home to Dad
When at last they reached home to Father
They were fed up and had quite enough
But in the front parlour they found six young women
And Father were doing his stuff
Hello Mother said Mr Ramsbottom
Come right on in don't be afraid
When you went away I joined Ambulance Corps
I'm instructing the girls in first aid
First aid said Mrs Ramsbottom
With a horrible look on her brow
If ever you wanted first aid in your life
By gum you'll be wanting it now