文本歌词

Last Sunday I strolled into church
The first time for years
A christening they had
A fine baby lad
The parson said
Now whos the pa of this bouncing boy
He looked at me
I grabbed my hat and said
I don't do things like that
Its no use looking at me
No use looking at me
He said I thought a likeness I could see
I blushed red all around my ears and said
My word what strange ideas
Why I've been to sea for the last three years
So its no use looking at me
Its no use looking at me
In the courts a murder case I heard being tried
The murderer said they is at large today
But no doubt they'll trace him by the scar on his face
The judge then glared all round the dock
He caught my eye
I said old cock
Its no use looking at me
No use looking at me
He said
I thought a scar on your face I could see
I said
You're rather out of place
I've got a scar but in my case
Its a darned long way off from my face
So it's no use looking at me
It's no use looking at me
At acting once I tried my hand they said I'd be good
Arrangements were made and hamlet I played
I got rather muddled when I dressed for the part
The audience were full of grins
I shouted out odds bodderkins
Its no use looking at me
No use looking at me
I was feeling a draught around my anatomy
I must have looked the sight of sights
I shouted ee turn out the lights
Cause I've only got one leg in my tights
So its no use looking at me
No
No its no use looking at me