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The Darktown Poker Club - Phil Harris/Gene Kelly
Bill jackson was a poor old dub
Who joined the darktown poker club
But cursed the day he
Told them he would join
His money used to go like it had wings
If he yelled queens someone had kings
And each night he would
Contribute all his coin
Then he said I'm gonna play em tight tonight
He said there'll be no bobtail
Flushes make me bite
Cause when I gets in them
My hands will be a peach
And he played them tight but lost his pile
And bill got peevish after a while
So he rose looked all
Around and made this speech
He said you all see this brand new razor
I had it sharpened just today
Now I'm coming in there with my rules
That you must follow when you play
Now keep your big bony hands on the table
While you dealing please
And don't be slipping them aces down there
Er in between your knees
And don't be making all them funny signs
Like you trying to tip off your hand
Just talk in american boy american
So I can understand
And don't be dealing off the bottom
Because ooh that's rough
Take five five then stop that's enough
Now when you bet put up the chips
Because I don't like it when you shy
Then if you get busted
Go on out and get some
I'm gonna be here by and by
Pass them cards for me to shuffle
Everytime before you deals
Then if anythings wrong I must see
Cause I mean you always ain't no er
Keep playing that game
According to mr hoyle
You all play this game according to me
Now sitting right there in that there clan
There chance to be a one eyed man
And bill kept watching him
Out the corner of his eye
When ole one eye would deal and then
Would cost that bill another five or ten
Bill got up again looked all
Around him with a sigh
He said lord this is an awful shame
He said there someone
Cheatin' in this 'ere game
He said it goes er
It ain't no do for me to name the guy
So I'll refrain from
Mentioning the party's name
If I catch him cheatin' just once again
I'm gonna take my fist
And close that other eye
Now you see this brand new razor
I had it sharpened just today
I'm comin' in there with my own rules
That you must follow when you play
Hey kid keep your hands up there
While you're givin' them out please
Stop puttin' them wildies
Down there 'tween your knees
Stop makin' all them funny signs
Like you're tryin' to tip off your hand
Keep talkin' in american big aaa
That's what I can understand
And don't be getting'
Them off the bottom
Because I keep tryin'
To tell you it's rough
This an army game five
Five halt that's enough
Now when you bet let me
See the reds and blues
'Cause I don't like it when you shy
Then if you run out of
Gas go get pumped up
I'm gonna be here by and by
Pass them pasteboards for me to shuffle
Everytime before you deal let me ripple
Anything wrong I wanna see
I mean you always ain't gonna
Keep playin' the game now
According to that mr hoyle
You all gonna play this game
According to me
Henry if you break the seal
On that new deck of bicycles
We'll go on from there yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

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