文本歌词

Three Ha'pence a Foot - Stanley Holloway
I'll tell you an old fashioned story
That Grandfather used to relate
Of a joiner and building contractor
Is name it were Sam Oglethwaite
In a shop on the banks of the Irwell
Old Sam used to follow is trade
In a place you'll have eard of called Bury
You know where black puddings is made
One day Sam were filling a knot ole
Wi putty when in thro the door
Came an old feller fair wreathed wi whiskers
Tould chap said good morning I'm Noah
Sam asked Noah what was is business
And tould chap went on to remark
That not liking the look of the weather
E were thinking of building an Ark
E d gotten the wood for the bulwarks
And all tother shipbuilding junk
And wanted some nice Bird's Eye Maple
To panel the side of is bunk
Now Maple were Sam's Monopoly
That means it were all is to cut
And nobody else adn't got none
So e asked Noah three ha'pence a foot
A ha'penny too much replied Noah
A Penny a foot's more the mark
A penny a foot and when t'rain comes
I'll give you a ride in me Ark
But neither would budge in the bargain
The whole daft thing were kind of a jam
So Sam put is tongue out at Noah
And Noah made Long Bacon* at Sam
In wrath and ill feeling they parted
Not knowing when they'd meet again
And Sam had forgot all about it
Til one day it started to rain
It rained and it rained for a fortni't
And flooded the ole countryside
It rained and it kept on raining
Til the Irwell were fifty mile wide
The couses were soon under water
And folks to the roof ad to climb
They said twas the rottenest summer
That Bury ad ad for some time
The rain showed no sign of abating
And water rose hour by hour
Til the only dry land were at Blackpool
And that were on top of the Tower
So Sam started swimming to Blackpool
It took 'im best part of a week
Is clothes were wet through when'e got there
And s boots were beginning to leak
E stood to is watch chain in water
On Tower top just before dark
When who should come sailing towards i'm
But old Noah steering is Ark
They stared at each other in silence
Til Ark were alongside all but
Then Noah said What price yer Maple
Sam answered Three ha'pence a foot
Noah said Nay I'll make thee an offer
The same as I did t'other day
A penny a foot and a free ride
Now come on lad what does tha say
Three hapence a foot came the answer
So Noah is sail ad to hoist
And sailed off again in a dudgeon
While Sam stood determined but moist
Noah cruised around flying is pigeons
Til fortieth day of the wet
And on is way back passing Blackpool
E saw old Sam standing there yet
Is chin just stuck out of the water
A comical figure e cut
Noah said Now what's the price of yer Maple
Sam answered Three ha'pence a foot
Said Noah Yed best take my offer
It's last time I'll be hereabout
And if water comes half an inch higher
I'll happen get Maple for nowt
Three hapence a foot it'll cost yer
And as fer me Sam said don't fret
The sky's took a turn since this morning
I think it'll brighten up yet