文本歌词

If You Give Me Your Attention - Martyn Green
If you give me your attention
I will tell you what I am
I'm a genuine philanthropist
All other kinds are sham
Each little fault of temper
And each social defect
In my erring fellow creatures
I endeavour to correct
To all their little weaknesses
I open people's eyes
And little plans to snub
The self sufficient I devise
I love my fellow creatures
I do all the good I can
Yet ev'rybody says I'm such
A disagreeable man
And I can't think why
To compliments inflated
I've a withering reply
And vanity I always do
My best to mortify
A charitable action
I can skillfully dissect
And interested motives
I'm delighted to detect
I know ev'rybody's income
And what ev'rybody earns
And I carefully compare
It with the income tax returns
But to benefit humanity
However much I plan
Yet ev'rybody says
I'm such a disagreeable man
And I can't think why
I'm sure I'm no ascetic
I'm as pleasant as can be
You'll always find me ready
With a crushing repartee
I've an irritating chuckle
I've a celebrated sneer
I've an entertaining snigger
I've a fascinating leer
To ev'rybody's prejudice
I know a thing or two
I can tell a woman's age in
Half a minute and I do
But although I try to make
Myself as pleasant as I can
Yet ev'rybody says I'm such
A disagreeable man
And I can't think why
I can't think why